Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

A: This would be a good question to put to the candidates in the Republican debate tonight! If this guy were just a co-worker, this would be none of your business. But as you?re about to put your financial future into each other's hands, any concerns you have about his character are legitimate. Do keep in mind that whatever happens, your co-worker won't cheat on you in quite the same way as he cheated on his wife. I've never been aware of any evidence that Richard Nixon cheated on Pat, yet if you considered marital fidelity as the primary indicator of integrity, you'd have been badly misled about him. The number of sexually profligate politicians is too numerous to mention, yet some have been honest and effective leaders. Marriages end for many reasons, and his intimate life is not your business. But you should have a broad sense of this guy's character. Since your future will be so intimately tied up in his, I think it's fair to sit down and tell him that you're not prying into the reasons for his divorce, but infidelity does raise concerns about personal honesty for you. Then see what he says. If he's hostile and defensive, if he bad-mouths his wife, then weigh what you hear. If he responds that he doesn't want to discuss his personal life, but he understands your concerns and wants to assure you this private matter is separate from his professional life, you'll have a different sense. And if he tells you what you've said is the most despicable question imaginable, don't give him a standing ovation.

Source: http://feeds.slate.com/click.phdo?i=5d3a977277950963a56b199bd032d2bf

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